this distance seems terrible

Pouring over photographs
I'm living in your letters
Breathe deeply from this envelope
It smells like you and I can't be
Without that scent, it's filling me
With all you mean to me

So I'll hit the pavement
It's gotta be better than waiting
And pushing you far away 'cause I'm scared
So I'll take my chances and head on my way up there
Cause turning to you is like falling in love when you're ten

to my ex-lover

there's one thing i want to say, so i'll be brave
you were what i wanted
i gave what i gave
i'm not sorry i met you
i'm not sorry it's over
i'm not sorry there's nothing to save

i'm not sorry there's nothing to save

december it is

a long december and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember the last thing
that you said as you were leaving
now the days go by so fast

and it's one more day up in the canyons
and it's one more night in hollywood
if you think that i could be forgiven...
i wish you would

drove up to hillside manor sometime after two a.m.
and talked a little while about the year
i guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
makes you talk a little lower
about the things you could not show her

and it's been a long december and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember all the times i tried to tell my myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass

and it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in hollywood
it's been so long since I've seen the ocean...
i guess i should

i want to be the one

remember all the good times that we had
we let them slip away from us when things got bad
how clearly i first saw you smiling in the sun
i want to feel your warmth upon me, i want to be the one

i will remember you
will you remember me
don't let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories

2 years hence

hey i still have this blog, which practically "no one ever knows" about. considering that it's kind of recluse and that i haven't posted here in a while (i.e., more than 2 yrs now), i still chose to keep it. the reason i didn't post anything has more to do with not wanting to overwrite my 1st ever entry on this blog (i'll spare you the technicalities). but now that i've tweaked it a bit, i can make new posts again.

if you just stumbled upon this blog, i suggest that you read my 1st ever post first - it's my message for you dear stranger (lest my tweaking efforts will be in vain). ;)

hmm, everybody seems to be tweeting now. but i refuse to sign up for that, even though there are times when i want to 'think out loud' and share my thoughts with just anybody. anyway, since i have this blog, i'd just be posting my thoughts here every so often (although as you would probably notice in my previous entries, my thoughts are someone else's thoughts too - found in lyrics mostly).

so, feel free to follow me here, my non-existent readers. :D i'd love to share my thoughts with you (i.e., practically no one). ;)

until then

i think i might like
the quiet nights
of this empty life

'cause someday
maybe somebody will love me
like i need
but until then
i'll do just fine on my own

i ain't gonna sleep
i ain't gonna dream
about the things
that i used to need
i ain't gonna cry
or go on living lies
i'm just gonna drive

you were easy

only save, try to find another way
i’m taking what i gave to you again
some new day i could understand your face
you could even hold my hand
if you would like to

it came up unexpected
i had to follow through
and it’s hard when you were working
like you do

it was easy when you were younger
you can put it back together
it was there if you ever wanted it
but you closed the door
and said goodbye for good

so this is a mistake
try to find a better way
you were never fond of anything i said

can we begin again?
save it for another friend
i was happy in my life i won’t pretend

every time you were expecting
to reach out and forgive this
i was hardened by the look upon your face

it was easy when you were younger
you can put it back together
it was there if you ever wanted it
but you closed the door
and said goodbye for good

for good… you were easy